State of Mind
As I walked in to another coffee shop on the old high street for the tenth time in a week I knew that I'd got myself in to a bad routine. Not because I was ordering another hot chocolate but because taking myself away from my desk and work space meant I could have one whole hour to wallow in my anxiety during my lunch break.
It creeps in to my daily routine on a regular basis, triggered by the world around me and the state of my health. I was due to undergo major surgery, the kind some people don't make it through. I was in my early thirties, newly married and my life felt like it was just beginning but ending at the same time.
This town can be a lonely place when you've just relocated, started a new job and don't know anyone. As I sat in the window of the coffee shop I watched people pass by and wished I could swap lives with them. Eventually I built up the courage to tell my Doctor how I was feeling through a flurry of tears and got a referral for CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy).
It's honestly the best therapy I've received and believe me, I've tried a few (all in vain). It gave me the opportunity to take control of feelings and emotions and turn them into positive actions and thoughts. Giving myself the space to think past my surgery and in to the future meant I no longer dwelled in the present moment.
January can be a tough time of year for many of us, I still struggle to overcome my negative thoughts but if I take action quickly I can stop it spiralling out of control.
I've found that walking is particularly therapeutic (if I'm feeling energetic I'll head off to Ashdown Forest for a couple of hours to explore a new route). Taking a long, hot bath surrounded by candles is great at the end of the day too, it calms my brain and switches off the endless thoughts whirling around.
Getting out of the house and putting myself in unfamiliar situations was a great turning point for me. I feared talking to new people, worried that I'd be asked difficult questions so I made myself sign up to do an upholstery course in town and throughly enjoyed it.
I'd also recommend a visit to Botanica in Rusthall, I had a course of Osteotherapy treatments combined with acupuncture that really changed my outlook. They're product range is amazing too, I find it hard not to walk out of there without buying at least one item.
If you are feeling low or anxious please reach out, tell that friend that you're not ok, mention it to your Doctor or just confide in someone close. I've come to realise that we're all struggling in some way and by opening up and talking frankly you'll find support in places you never thought existed.